I.D Essay Book - When I was a Child Star (Part 7)

Did I ever tell you how bad I am at maths? Yes, that's right, this essay still isn't finished. But we're getting there. One more part after this guys. This was a little short section. The next one is the 'epilogue', so to speak. Enjoy!

When I was a Child Star (part 7)
Graduation

I think that the decision for me to graduate Komadori was made incredibly early on. It was a very natural thought process, to know the day would come when I would become an adult and have to leave this place. Just like the hundreds of students above me who had come and gone, I would have to decide my own path.

I was graduating university when it properly hit me: well now, I’m an adult. Graduation is a time when everyone thinks about their own future, and it’s a matter of course that there will be goodbyes to be said when you start your journey to a new place. That’s just how it is, but what I found distressing was that Komadori wasn’t just any old place to up and leave. Komadori was my family. It was one of a kind. And that was why I struggled with the decision.

When I first confided in my former teacher Nishimura-sensei about what I was thinking, my body was shaking. A teacher has seen countless students fly the nest, and has probably experienced this same scene many times over. We’d both been expecting this day to come but nevertheless we were both affected by it. Nishimura-sensei said even though she was happy to let me decide this for myself, inside she was anxious for me. Not about my work, but because she was praying that I would be able to go on growing in a place filled with good people. Until now I had been protected from things by my teachers, I had no immune system, so to speak. What if I ventured into unknown territory, then was tricked by some good-for-nothing and ended up dead?! It was a little bit of an overreaction but as someone who was like a second mother to me, it was her job to say it, and it was her job to be worried about me. And because I understood that, I knew that it was my job to become happy whatever happened. My repayment to Nishimura-sensei was to be healthy and happy.

For the remaining year of my time there I spent the days slowly preparing to graduate. At the same time I spoke to my teacher about graduating, I had also spoken to my fellow students at Komadori to break the news. Including me there were only seven of us left in the group. Komadori had stopped recruiting new members years ago, so Komadori hadn’t actually been a children’s theatre group for a long time. There was even a girl who had already had her own child. Each of us were busy and completely taken up in our own lives.

We would say things like, we’re living lives that we never even imagined ten years ago, aren’t we? And though we had no way to imagine what it would be like, we would also talk about what might happen in the next ten years, saying things like ‘if we all have kids then we should form the second generation of Komadori!’ Even though we tried not to think about it, we became adults. It may be that we were able to ride out the storm thanks to the protection of the big tree Komadori.

On the long road of life ahead, we must experience the adventure even when we are scared, and we must forge ahead despite hardship; we have to walk on our own two feet.

In the end three of us graduated Komadori at the same time and went off to begin again in a new place.