Read the previous part here. Or go back to the beginning.
I.D Essay Book - I met 'Les Mis'... (part 4 of 6)
I got depressed...
Even when the real thing was almost upon us I was still, as ever, occupying the position reserved for the drop-out of the company.
There was definitely a unique atmosphere of tension during rehearsals. And as there were four actors for each role the rehearsals couldn’t run at a pace that was right for you. Most of the time you were just watching, with the opinion that it was fine as long as you were able to rehearse each scene once. To say it another way, we weren’t able to practice through repetition. Of course, it wasn’t just the Eponines but a lot of the actors involved were also having a hard time under these circumstances.
And as I’m sure you can imagine, there was no way that you could avoid being aware of the other actors playing your part. When I watched the others playing Eponine I would ooh and aah and ‘That’s Epo!’ before arriving at “I wonder how my Eponine looks…” There is no answer to the question “Which is the right one?” Even if you are singing the same lines to the same melody, or wearing the same costume, if the actor is different then there is no way that the outcome will be the same. It is natural that each performance is different. I knew that, but still I felt uneasy.
I felt a pressure that I had never experienced before in my whole life. I had no idea that I was so weak psychologically. Just hearing the music from my once beloved Les Mis now made my body ache all over. My knees would go weak when I arrived at rehearsals and my voice would refuse to come out. I felt sick constantly. I devoured self-help books on ‘training the spirit’ and ‘beating stress’. And when I think back now I realise that I was ill practically all of the time.
Because of all this the album I was making at the same time wouldn’t come together how I wanted it to. Even when I tried to write songs nothing but dark lyrics, lyrics with no salvation, would come out.
There were times when staff who I knew well sent me into hysterical bursts of tears just telling me “We’re looking forward to seeing you on stage.” This was also a new experience for me.
Why is my beloved Les Miserables making me so miserable? This was supposed to be my dream but why am I not happy?
I’m sure that there are more anecdotes from the rehearsal stage that I could tell you but thinking about it as I write this now, it only confirms what I suspected: rehearsal was full of nothing BUT these sorts of occurrences. I’m sorry it’s not more interesting.
From my time as a child actor until this point, I had been able to make it without difficulty. I was just lucky, always protected by someone…You would not be mistaken if you were to say that the days of my first year on Les Mis were the first true setback I had ever experienced in my life. In this, whatever happened, there was no way to move forward unless I used my own strength to stand up, used my own two feet to proceed. But I had never once had to do something as simple as this for myself before.
My only hope was to believe in myself, but my self-belief had been crushed long before and I had now arrived at a point where I could no longer depend on it for anything. Yet despite all this, the opening night marched relentlessly closer.
Note: The album she mentions was 'Shonen Alice'.
To be continued...
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
'Uchuu hikoushi no Uta' included on NHK 50th Anniversary Best CD
Maaya's contribution is the lovely 'Uchuu Hikoushi no Uta' (the astronaut's song) with music by Yoko Kanno, which was released on her album 'Shounen Alice' back in 2003.
To see the tracklist or buy the CD go to CDJapan. Or, you can read more about Minna no Uta on Wikipedia here.
P.S the next part of the Les Mis essay will be up this week, I just need to proofread it.
Monday, 18 April 2011
'Kimi to Boku' trailer using Tegami
Thanks to Yyrkoon for the tip that 'Tegami' is now featured in the trailer for 'Kimi to Boku'. It looks like a really sweet movie. Although tissues will definitely be needed after reading the lyrics to 'Tegami' and how apt they are for the content of the movie ^^;;;;
Just like Marley and Me (T_T)
EDIT: Here's a link to the translation of 'Tegami' I posted in January.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
'Full Moon Recital Hall' goods on limited sale
The booklet and postcards look nice. I'd use a service like Tenso if you'd like to buy them.
These were the goods that were on sale at the final recital hall event in December, Maaya read the final story on stage in front of an audience while the recital was broadcast to several other cinemas and online. That's why most of the goods are related to that particular one.
The publication of the series is scheduled for July.
Source: Zai-zen-sen blog
Monday, 11 April 2011
'You Can't Catch Me' full album translation
Hurrah! I hear the internet community shout, for Frecklegirl over on Nostalgic Lavender has translated all of the songs from Maaya's latest release 'You Can't Catch Me'.
Go and sing along here.
In other news, it seems like FROG MINUTES has done rather well on the app chart in Japan. Very nice! I read a review of it last week that commented how odd it was that Princess Amidala was talking about Jabba the Hutt (a joke on Maaya's role dubbing Natalie Portman in Star Wars and frogs being a lot like Jaba the Hutt...well, it was funny to me but now I write it down it doesn't seem as witty) but I'm sure it's a lot of fun.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
I.D Essay Book - I met 'Les Mis'... (part 3 of 6)
Here's the next part of the essay from 'I.D' I've been working on. Maaya recounts her experience of working on Les Mis from the beginning. Third part out of six, although the next three parts aren't so long at all. For this essay I've been translating by hand into a notebook and I can't believe I didn't do this before! It means I actually have a hand to hold the book open! The only problem is my poor copy of 'I.D' is starting to fall apart at the spine from useage. It's already pretty dirty...boo.
I've also FINALLY ordered 'from everywhere' after umm-ing and aa-ing over which online store to buy it from. Yesasia and CDJapan were both pretty even, as one had an expensive book but free shipping and the other had a cheap book but expensive shipping. However, then I found the used book section on Amazon.co.jp and bought a second hand copy for about 850yen and even though the shipping was included it was still cheaper than a brand new book and shipping from the other stores. Intresting...
EDIT: I've actually just stumbled upon this Youtube clip of Maaya talking to an audience about her time at Les Mis and she gets quite teary when she says that she when she had so much trouble she never thought she'd still be here seven years later. Just some more context for you all ^^
Read the previous part here. Or go back to the beginning.
I.D Essay Book - I met 'Les Mis'... (part 3 of 6)
I cried...
I definitely did something wrong. These words echoed around my head every day. Or rather, I knowingly began to lead myself straight down the road of negative thinking.
Sickness comes from the spirit, everything flows from your feelings: it really is that way. I was completely overwhelmed by my feelings. If I tried to sing my throat would suddenly close up and my legs would start to shake. I worried about what everyone was thinking so I was unable to act normally. Then I would lose any confidence I had left because I couldn’t display my full abilities, becoming even more wound up until my voice would not come out at all. It was a vicious circle.
Up until that point I’d also never had any formal vocal training. I had no experience of someone teaching singing technique or telling me the correct way to produce sound.
For Les Mis there was a music director and a singing instructor who would give out very detailed instructions and orders. Unlike singing pop music it was important that we sang while staying in character, and obviously hitting your notes and staying in key is important, but above all the expressiveness of your voice and your power of expression is critical. In order to put emotion into the voice when singing we were often required apply specific techniques, for example ‘for this bar, use vibrato from the third beat’ or ‘this note is falsetto, followed by your natural voice from the next one’.
But for me, who had never thought about how I used vibrato, or my falsetto or natural voice, it was somehow impossible. I couldn’t remember how the mechanisms within my body worked when I had sung in the past up until this point. I would get confused from over-thinking and could not longer do the things that I had always been able to do. I agonised over it. I began to sing in a voice that no longer sounded like my own.
But this wasn’t just a lack of technique or the condition of my throat, the bottom line was that the fragility of my mental state was the root of the problem. I couldn’t do it because I was thinking ‘I can’t do this’.
But you’ve been releasing CDs and giving concerts for years, you are a singer! You’re not some amateur, you look so uncool making excuses. Even if you make them no one is going to say ‘Oh I see, I see, well it can’t be helped then’. There are three other actresses here to play Eponine. And they are all so impressive. So why is it just you who’s snivelling, eh? But even though I scolded myself I couldn’t escape from the whirlpool of lost confidence that I had fallen into. I rapidly lost weight; I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t eat; whether I was awake or dreaming I was suffering from ‘Les Mis-itis’. Lord, is this a trial to help me grow? Or is it simply a punishment? Are you saying ‘You can overcome this!’ or ‘You should remember your place!’ Which is it? Tell me!!
With my useless grief the unrewarding days continued. It was excruciating. It was endless. Countless times on my way home from rehearsals I completely despaired, thinking ‘shall I just continue on to somewhere far away?’ There were also times when my feet would suddenly stop moving on the train platform and I would just sit there for hours. I had no idea how I could give anymore. I had given everything, squeezing out every last drop, so there was nothing left inside me. Despite that, that I still couldn’t even see any light ahead…
As I continued to rehearse burdened by these cowardly feelings, everyone else taking part in the rehearsals began to look like a panel of judges. I wonder what they are all thinking…And gradually even looking at my co-stars became difficult. Even when they said good bye, smiling as they said ‘good job’, my mental state had fallen into the illusion that they were actually saying ‘give up already!’ That’s how anxious I had become.
It was only natural that everyone worried about me. Well, they weren’t actually worried about me personally; they were worried about whether I would put the show in danger if I were to go on stage like this. Is she really ok? Even I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it. It was universally acknowledged that I was a complete drop-out.
Then one day some members of staff who could no longer sit by and watch what was happening asked me to stay behind after rehearsals had finished. I am happy that I was able to get an individual lesson as it was a great honour but at the time all I could feel was how sorry I was to be causing them trouble. They’re definitely regretting that they picked someone with such poor performance. I’m causing them so much inconvenience by making them take time out just for me.
After the individual lesson had finished and I had returned to the locker room there were still people in the midst of getting ready to go home. I clenched my teeth, trying to wait until I was alone but couldn’t hold it in whatsoever and I cried for the first time in a long while. When I was a kid I used to cry so much that I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t think I would cry this way as an adult!
It’s not sadness. It’s frustration. It’s just too frustrating. I hate myself.
It was embarrassing and unattractive but I was in such a state that I was no longer able to control myself. The people next to me as I wailed were surprised too. Please, don’t say anything, ignore me. I don’t want anyone to see me like this…
But someone said the following to me. Making an awful face as I sobbed, Marcia said these words to me, not encouragement or comfort, simply in a strong-willed voice:
“That frustration is something to treasure. Because it is a feeling felt by those who are undeniably strong.”
From that time onwards these words from Marcia have appeared in the back of my mind countless times, supporting me.
Like this, the words from my co-stars have always been what have saved me. Everyone is fighting. To me everyone might seem calm and composed but each of them are always fighting within themselves, every day they are standing to face a difficult question with no answer to be found. It is not just me who anxious, nervous or under pressure.
The people who passed me tissues that day without saying a word, the people who held my hand until we had talked it out, the people who rehearsed with me; these people gave me strength and taught me that ‘we are comrades’.
Read the next part here
I've also FINALLY ordered 'from everywhere' after umm-ing and aa-ing over which online store to buy it from. Yesasia and CDJapan were both pretty even, as one had an expensive book but free shipping and the other had a cheap book but expensive shipping. However, then I found the used book section on Amazon.co.jp and bought a second hand copy for about 850yen and even though the shipping was included it was still cheaper than a brand new book and shipping from the other stores. Intresting...
EDIT: I've actually just stumbled upon this Youtube clip of Maaya talking to an audience about her time at Les Mis and she gets quite teary when she says that she when she had so much trouble she never thought she'd still be here seven years later. Just some more context for you all ^^
Read the previous part here. Or go back to the beginning.
I.D Essay Book - I met 'Les Mis'... (part 3 of 6)
I cried...
I definitely did something wrong. These words echoed around my head every day. Or rather, I knowingly began to lead myself straight down the road of negative thinking.
Sickness comes from the spirit, everything flows from your feelings: it really is that way. I was completely overwhelmed by my feelings. If I tried to sing my throat would suddenly close up and my legs would start to shake. I worried about what everyone was thinking so I was unable to act normally. Then I would lose any confidence I had left because I couldn’t display my full abilities, becoming even more wound up until my voice would not come out at all. It was a vicious circle.
Up until that point I’d also never had any formal vocal training. I had no experience of someone teaching singing technique or telling me the correct way to produce sound.
For Les Mis there was a music director and a singing instructor who would give out very detailed instructions and orders. Unlike singing pop music it was important that we sang while staying in character, and obviously hitting your notes and staying in key is important, but above all the expressiveness of your voice and your power of expression is critical. In order to put emotion into the voice when singing we were often required apply specific techniques, for example ‘for this bar, use vibrato from the third beat’ or ‘this note is falsetto, followed by your natural voice from the next one’.
But for me, who had never thought about how I used vibrato, or my falsetto or natural voice, it was somehow impossible. I couldn’t remember how the mechanisms within my body worked when I had sung in the past up until this point. I would get confused from over-thinking and could not longer do the things that I had always been able to do. I agonised over it. I began to sing in a voice that no longer sounded like my own.
But this wasn’t just a lack of technique or the condition of my throat, the bottom line was that the fragility of my mental state was the root of the problem. I couldn’t do it because I was thinking ‘I can’t do this’.
But you’ve been releasing CDs and giving concerts for years, you are a singer! You’re not some amateur, you look so uncool making excuses. Even if you make them no one is going to say ‘Oh I see, I see, well it can’t be helped then’. There are three other actresses here to play Eponine. And they are all so impressive. So why is it just you who’s snivelling, eh? But even though I scolded myself I couldn’t escape from the whirlpool of lost confidence that I had fallen into. I rapidly lost weight; I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t eat; whether I was awake or dreaming I was suffering from ‘Les Mis-itis’. Lord, is this a trial to help me grow? Or is it simply a punishment? Are you saying ‘You can overcome this!’ or ‘You should remember your place!’ Which is it? Tell me!!
With my useless grief the unrewarding days continued. It was excruciating. It was endless. Countless times on my way home from rehearsals I completely despaired, thinking ‘shall I just continue on to somewhere far away?’ There were also times when my feet would suddenly stop moving on the train platform and I would just sit there for hours. I had no idea how I could give anymore. I had given everything, squeezing out every last drop, so there was nothing left inside me. Despite that, that I still couldn’t even see any light ahead…
As I continued to rehearse burdened by these cowardly feelings, everyone else taking part in the rehearsals began to look like a panel of judges. I wonder what they are all thinking…And gradually even looking at my co-stars became difficult. Even when they said good bye, smiling as they said ‘good job’, my mental state had fallen into the illusion that they were actually saying ‘give up already!’ That’s how anxious I had become.
It was only natural that everyone worried about me. Well, they weren’t actually worried about me personally; they were worried about whether I would put the show in danger if I were to go on stage like this. Is she really ok? Even I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it. It was universally acknowledged that I was a complete drop-out.
Then one day some members of staff who could no longer sit by and watch what was happening asked me to stay behind after rehearsals had finished. I am happy that I was able to get an individual lesson as it was a great honour but at the time all I could feel was how sorry I was to be causing them trouble. They’re definitely regretting that they picked someone with such poor performance. I’m causing them so much inconvenience by making them take time out just for me.
After the individual lesson had finished and I had returned to the locker room there were still people in the midst of getting ready to go home. I clenched my teeth, trying to wait until I was alone but couldn’t hold it in whatsoever and I cried for the first time in a long while. When I was a kid I used to cry so much that I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t think I would cry this way as an adult!
It’s not sadness. It’s frustration. It’s just too frustrating. I hate myself.
It was embarrassing and unattractive but I was in such a state that I was no longer able to control myself. The people next to me as I wailed were surprised too. Please, don’t say anything, ignore me. I don’t want anyone to see me like this…
But someone said the following to me. Making an awful face as I sobbed, Marcia said these words to me, not encouragement or comfort, simply in a strong-willed voice:
“That frustration is something to treasure. Because it is a feeling felt by those who are undeniably strong.”
From that time onwards these words from Marcia have appeared in the back of my mind countless times, supporting me.
Like this, the words from my co-stars have always been what have saved me. Everyone is fighting. To me everyone might seem calm and composed but each of them are always fighting within themselves, every day they are standing to face a difficult question with no answer to be found. It is not just me who anxious, nervous or under pressure.
The people who passed me tissues that day without saying a word, the people who held my hand until we had talked it out, the people who rehearsed with me; these people gave me strength and taught me that ‘we are comrades’.
Read the next part here
Friday, 1 April 2011
Once more, Chibikko Folk - blog by Hiroshi Ichikura
The lyricist Hiroshi Ichikura, who wrote 'Chibikko Folk' for Maaya's album 'Shounen Alice', has posted a blog entry on his website revisiting the lyrics in light of the recent earthquake and tsunami in north east Japan.
The English lyrics for 'Chibikko Folk' I borrowed from Joonas Kirsi's translation here, and I found the blog through the Japanese fansite 100331 so thank you to them as well.
Note: the Kafka aphorism is no.52 according to Wikipedia.
Once more, Chibikko Folk
Original blog entry here (Japanese)
This is a song that I created after 9.11, just after the subsequent war. It quotes a famous aphorism by Kafka.
In the struggle between yourself and the world, second the world.
Im Kampf zwischen dir und der Welt sekundiere der Welt.
There are various interpretations of these words, and I think that the diversity is a good thing. For example, right now I interpret them in the following way:
Instead of fearing radiation contamination, support the land that suffers the disaster.
Or, like this:
Do not cry for yourself, cry for the world (for others)
The English lyrics for 'Chibikko Folk' I borrowed from Joonas Kirsi's translation here, and I found the blog through the Japanese fansite 100331 so thank you to them as well.
Note: the Kafka aphorism is no.52 according to Wikipedia.
Once more, Chibikko Folk
Original blog entry here (Japanese)
Closing the book I was reading and putting down the bread I was nibbling, I open the window and notice
that a single feather has fallen on the window board.
Nobody knows where the dreams of children disappeared
（Omitted）
I gently put a blanket over the sleepless nights of children
who live in lands that hate each other and cities that hurt each other.
I’m staying awake.
I’m right here, so don’t worry
Oh ho oh Oh ho oh Oh ho oh -
I’m watching over you, so don’t worry
Oh ho oh Oh ho oh Oh ho oh -
I’m by your side, so don’t worry
Kafka once said, “If the whole world fights against you…”
If the whole world ever fought against me,
if that ever happened
I think I would ally myself with the world of my enemy
（Omitted）
Song／Maaya Sakamoto Music／Yoko kanno
This is a song that I created after 9.11, just after the subsequent war. It quotes a famous aphorism by Kafka.
In the struggle between yourself and the world, second the world.
Im Kampf zwischen dir und der Welt sekundiere der Welt.
There are various interpretations of these words, and I think that the diversity is a good thing. For example, right now I interpret them in the following way:
Instead of fearing radiation contamination, support the land that suffers the disaster.
Or, like this:
Do not cry for yourself, cry for the world (for others)
Maaya concert-goers raise £47,000 for charity
Here's some happy news, Maaya's site has revealed how much the YCCM tour raised for the victims of the earthquake and tsunami two weeks ago. The tour has had four stops since the disaster: Nagoya, Osaka and two nights in Tokyo. Not only were there donation boxes at the venue but some of the goods on sale were labelled as charity goods and their proceeds went to the fund as well.
In total they raised:
Regular donations: 2,729,846 yen (approximately £20,500)
Sales of charity goods: 3,530,000 yen (approximately £26,500)
Wonderful!!!
Source: Maaya's official homepage
In total they raised:
Regular donations: 2,729,846 yen (approximately £20,500)
Sales of charity goods: 3,530,000 yen (approximately £26,500)
Wonderful!!!
Source: Maaya's official homepage
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